Merry Kicksmas
by brauer83
Summary: The family's christmas tree burns down, so Kick, Kendall and Gunther sets off to buy a new one. Sequel to "Dad's demise"
1. Chapter 1

Brad: I'm gonna put the star on top!

Brianna: No, I am!

Brad: No, I am, you little punk band wannabe!

Brianna: What did you just say!?

Brad: I said your band sucks!

Brianna: Repeat that one more time and I'll rip your heart out!

Brad: Oh yeah!?

Brianna: Yeah! You can't even get a girl to like you for one day!

Brad: WHY YOU-!

And so started yet another family discussion at the Buttowski residence. Kick's big brother Brad and little sister Brianna were fighting over who was going to put the star on top of the christmas tree while Harold and Honey, Kick and Kendall's parents, where observing from the couch, bored out of their minds.

Harold: Kids, kids, I have an idea. Why don't put on the darned star together?

Brad: No way, pop, I'm doing it myself!

Brianna: No, I'M doing it myself!

They gritted teeth at each other when the front door suddenly flew open. And who stood right in the doorway if not their brother Clarence Buttowski and his wife Kendall wearing their winter outfits.

Kick: Ho ho ho, merry Kicksmas everyone!

Kendall: Happy holidays!

Honey: There's my babies!

Harold: Merry christmas, kids! Where were you two?

Kick: Oh, nothing special. Just for a quiet stroll through the park.

Kendall: Yeah, we just went for a walk.

Harold: I know you're hiding something! Where are the presents?

Honey: You'll have to excuse your father, he's always been like that! Every christmas, he couldn't stop thinking about the presents under the tree, just like with my famous chocolate chip cookies!

Kendall: (burr) Please don't remind me!

Kick: So what's going on?

Honey: Your brother and sister are fighting over who to put the star on top of the tree.

Kick: (sigh) Again? Nevermind, I'LL do it!

Brad: OH NO, YOU DON'T!

Kick climbed up the stool to put the star on top of the tree with Brad and Brianna desperately trying to pull him back. When Kick finally got the star in place, Brad kicked away the stool under Kick's feet so he grabbed a firm hold on the top of the tree. Hanging with one hand on the tree and one arm in Brad's hands, Brad pulled on Kick's arm, taking the tree down with him. Just then, Gunther and Jackie came through the door. Before they knew what happened, the christmas tree came falling down on them. A second later, their heads popped up from under the tree, and they all just laughed. But then, they smelled something burning. The top of the the tree had caught fire near the fireplace.

Kick: Biscuits!

Brad: WE'RE GONNA BE BURNED ALIVE, HELP ME!

Kick: Snap out of it, Brad! Gunther, go into the garage and get a canister of water, quickly!

Gunther: You keep your water in the garage?

Kick: JUST DO IT!

Gunther: Okay okay!

30 seconds later Gunther came back with a canister of water, but it wasn't water, it was gasoline. Kick managed to get out from under the tree and helped everone else get out before he poured the whole canister of "water" onto the burning tree, which only caused it to burn even more, and in a matter of seconds the tree poofed to ash. Kick looked at the canister only to realize it wasn't water.

Kick: Hey, this ain't water! Gunther!

Gunther: Sorry. But, in my defense, you should label your bottles!

Honey: Now how are we gonna have a jolly christmas?

Kick: Relax, mom. I'll just go into town and get us another christmas tree!

Gunther: I'll come too. This is all my fault after all!

Kendall: Me too!

Kick: (To Kendall) I think it's better for you to stay here, I don't want you to get into any trouble!

Kendall: Excuse me? I'm a big girl now and I can take care of myself. Just because we're married dosen't mean you can tell me what to do!

Kick: (sigh) Fine then, you can come too.

Kendall: Don't you dare try to make me stay, I said-WHAAAAAAAAAAT!?

Kick: I said you can come.

Kendall: Really? I thought it'd be harder than that.

Kick: Yeah, but I love you too darn much to leave you here.

Kendall: Aww, Clarence...

Gunther: Hrrrrhrrrrrrmmmm! Me, right here!

Kick: Alright then, we're off!

Honey: Be back soon, kids!

Kick: We promise, mom! Okay gang, let's do all and then some!

And so, Kick, Kendall and Gunther set off to find a new christmas tree, while Harold, Honey, Brad and Brianna stayed home. Honey decided to make gingerbreads for them when they returned.

Brad: I call putting the frosting on them!

Brianna: No, I'm gonna do it!

Brad: Did I tell you your band sucks!?

Harold: (heavy sigh)


	2. Chapter 2

Kick: Okay gang, let's split up! I'll check the lower part of Mellowbrook while Kendall checks the upper part, and Gunther checks the middle, let's go!

Kendall: You sound just like Fred Jones.

Kick: Who?

Kendall: Fred Jones. From Scooby Doo.

Kick: Never heard of it.

Gunther: What, are you crazy, that's like my favorite show ever, I have tons of merchandise at home! We even had a Scooby Doo festival in the old country!

Kick: It's a tv show?

Gunther: Yeah! Don't you watch cartoons?

Kick: Car-who?

Gunther: Wow Kick, I knew you were hardcore, but not as if you never watched cartoons before!

Kick: Is it like a ramp?

Kendall: No, it's like an animated tv-show. In fact, you, me and Gunther are all animated characters. And the best thing about being a cartoon character is you can't die, no matter how hard you try!

Kick: Boring! Enough of this car-nonsense, we've got a tree to buy!

They found out that the best place to find a christmas tree was at Rowdy's. They walked through the parking lot to Rowdy's tool shed and knocked on the door.

Rowdy: Welcome, my friends! Whatever you search for can be found at Rowdy's!

Kick: We're in need of a christmas tree.

Rowdy: You're in luck, my friend, I only have one left!

Rowdy showed him a small tree that wasn't even half as big the one they had.

Kick: Aw biscuits! You sure this is the only one left?

Rowdy: Sorry my friend, I'm all sold out so close 'till christmas!

Kick: Alright, we'll take it!

Gunther: Whoa whoa whoa, Kick you crazy!?

Kick: Relax, Gunth, it's not the size of the tree that matters, it's the size of the heart!

Gunther: That doesn't make any sense.

Kick: Kendall knows what I mean!

Kendall: I sure do, Clarence. it was really beautiful said.

Gunther: What!? What was very beautiful said!? Why won't you tell me what the heck is going on!?

Kick: You'll find out soon enough, buddy! Come, let's go!

Gunther: But I wanna know now! What's the point of having a secret and not tell ME?

After picking out the smallest christmas tree ever, the gang waved goodbye at Rowdy and returned home. Meanwhile, back at the Buttowski's, Jackie was starting to feel worried about Gunther.

Jackie: I sure hope nothing bad has happened to them!

Brad: Ehh, the dillweed's probably injured himself during a stunt again!

Brianna: Don't you talk that way about my big bro!

Honey: Kids, stop it! Where's your christmas spirit?

Brad: I lost it in a game of poker with Horace and Pantsy!

Brianna: That sounds like a great song for our christmas album! "BRAAAAD PLAYED AWAY HIS CHRISTMAS SPIRIT ON POKER-"

Brad: I'm warning you, Brianna!

Brianna: "-BUT HORACE AND PANTSIE BETTED HIGHER-

Brad: I said stop it!

Brianna: "-SO NOW HE'S BROKE AND ALONE WHOOOAAAHHHOOOAAA YEEAAAAHEEA-"

Brad: THAT'S IT!

Brad threw himself over Brianna and started to wrestle the guitar out of her hands. Just then, Kick, Kendall and Gunther came through the door.

Kick: Well well well, I see Brad's just oozing with holiday spirit!

Brad: DILLWEED! Umm, I was just helping Brianna tune her guitar! Did you get a christmas tree, huh, did ya, huh huh huh?

Kick: Well...

Kick showed them the small christmas tree, it was so small that it could fit inside Gunther's mouth. In fact, when they all saw the tiny christmas tree, they went mad with rage, and forced the tree down Gunther's throat. But Kick reached inside his mouth and pulled the tree back out.

Kick: What are you guys doing!?

Harold: Son, with all due respect, the tree is WAY to small for this family!

Brad: It would make a better log in the toilet!

Kick: Hey it's not the size of the tree that matters, what matters is what's in HERE!

Brad: What, my spleen?

Kick: No, Brad, in your heart!

Gunther: Ohhh, NOW I get it! We'll use Brad's heart as a christmas tree!

Kick: Guess again, Gunther.

Gunther: Uhh, simply Brad?

Kendall: I think what Clarence is trying to say is that love is bigger than a stupid piece of wood!

Brad: And that's coming from you, Mrs. Dillweed!?

Then everyone started fighting with each other. Eventually, the doorbell rang and Kick answered it. It was Wade.

Wade: Hey-hey-hey, Danger family!

Everybody: WHAT!?

Wade: Oooh, more like "Furious" family! Anyway, I was just in the neighborhood and heard you were in need of a christmas tree. So...

Then Wade brought in the most beautiful christmas tree they've ever seen, it was even bigger than their old one. Immediately, everyone stopped arguing and made up.

Brad: I call putting the star on top!

Brianna: Aww! Then I call dressing it!

Gunther: Aww, I was gonna call that!

Stay tuned for the happy ending!


	3. Chapter 3

A while later, everyone sat down for christmas dinner with all the supplements, ham, pumpkin pie, plum pudding, turkey etc.

Brad: Hey, Dill-I mean Kick, sorry I acted up about the tree.

Kick: It's ok, Brad, we all get a little nervous 'round christmas.

Brad: Who said I was nervous, I'm not nervous!

Kick: Excited about the presents, huh?

Brad: Well, DUHHH, who isn't?

Honey: I love this time of year, it's so magical. Especially when the whole family comes around for dinner!

Harold: My favorite part are the christmas carols! In fact, I could go for one right now! "We wish you a merry"-mmmmfffffffmmmmffffffftttttt!?

Honey: Later, honey, we gotta finish up dinner first!

Harold: (grunt)

Kick: Thanks again, Wade! If you hadn't come by, these guys would've trashed my buttowski!

Wade: No problemo, Danger Dude! They don't call me "the slacker who saved christmas" for nothing!

Later, everyone sat down in the sofa, waiting for Santa Claus.

Kick: Whoa, look at the time! I'd better go get the latest issue of "Stunts 4 Us" before Food 'n Fix closes!

Kendall: I'll come with you!

Wade: Uhh I'm right here! Danger Duo?

Outside the house, Kick and Kendall were preparing to go into the roles of Mr. and Mrs. Claus. They put on their outfits that they managed to pick up earlier. Then they met an old fat man wearing red coming along in his magical flying sleigh dragged by reindeer. He parked on top of the roof and waved down at them, who waved back in confusion. Could it really have been...Santa Claus? No way! They walked back inside and were met by creepy happy faces, while the old man jumped down the chimney.

Brad: SANTA!

Kick: Ho ho ho, Merry christmas to all...

Kendall: ...and to all a good night!

Kick: No, Kends, that's not it.

Kendall: Oops!

Harold: Wait a second, if you're Santa, then who's THAT?

Harold pointed at the fat man in red near the fireplace.

Santa: I'm Santa Claus!

Kick: No, I'M Santa Claus!

Santa: If you're Santa Claus, where do you live?

Kick: Umm...Miami?

Santa: You got lucky, kid! Well how many elves have you got?

Kick: 30?

Santa: More like 30 000, imposter!

Kick: (sigh) Fine, I'm not Santa!

Santa: But I know who you are, you're Clarence Buttowski. And you have been a very good boy this year. And this young woman is Kendall Perkins, and she has also been very good!

Brad: What about me, Santa, huh huh huh?

Santa: Ahh yes, Bradley Buttowski. According to our computers, you have been rather naughty!

Brad: That's not true, I love my brother, the little scamp! And my sister I can't get enough of!

Santa: Then who is this "Dillweed" I keep hearing about?

Brad: Ehhh it's my...nickname for people I love! (To Kick) I love you Dillweed!

Santa: Ohh, I see. In that case, I have a very special gift for you!

Brad: Oh thank you thank you thank you Santa! I promise I won't be naughty again for as long as I live!

Santa: Very good. Now, I must be on my way. Merry christmas!

Everybody: Merry christmas!

Santa Claus stood by the fireplace and rubbed the side of his nose using his index finger and he magically went up the chimney. Looking out the window, everyone watched him take off in his sleigh, shouting "HOHOHO MERRY CHRISTMAS!" while waving down at them who waved back. After he had left, everyone started exchanging gifts, all except Brad.

Kendall: Aww, Clarence! Tickets to the new Marcel Pompeu movie!

Kick: Yeah, I must admit I like that mushy stuff a teensy bit. Thanks for the new helmet! I'm gonna call it H2O.

Kendall: As in water?

Kick: No, as in "Helmet 2 Over my head". (Peace sign) CHIMICHANGA!

Harold: A pair of meatloaf gloves! Thanks, honey!

Honey: And a handheld vacuum cleaner!

Gunther: Cool, opposable thumbs! Now I don't have to worry about my old ones!

Jackie: Lingonberry pie, my favorite!

Wade: This is from me to you, DD!

Kick: Awesome, a new jumpsuit! I got something for you too!

Wade: Woah, a new hat! Hey, Brianna, this is for you!

Brianna: Really? Wow, an iPop!

Kendall: Ohhh Clarence...I see mistletoe...!

Kick: (gulp) Really?

Kendall: Uh huh! Feel like giving Mrs. Claus a kiss?

Brianna: Go for it, bro!

Harold: Make me proud, son!

Kick: Well if you insist...!

Kick and Kendall stood under the mistletoe in the hallway, then Kick grabbed Kendall by the hips and kissed her on the lips with all his might, pulling her down to the floor, then he let go, gazing into her eyes.

Kick: How about that babe, can Santa Kick kiss or what?

Kendall: Santa Kick can indeed kiss...!

Kick: Merry christmas, Kendall.

Kendall: Merry christmas, Kick.

Brianna: Woohooo, you the man, bro!

Honey: (sob) My little boy...!

Kick: Brad, open your gift already!

Brad: Yeah Brad, this is gonna be the best christmas ever!

Kick: Quick, Dad, get the camera ready!

Brad: Why?

***SPLAT*CLICK***

Next, Brad's face were covered with vanilla cream, and everyone but him started laughing.

Kick: THERE'S your christmas spirit, Brad!

Gunther: You know, I FINALLY get that one!

Brad: I CURSE christmas! (slurp) Mmm, vanilla!

**The End!**


End file.
